What a crazy week!

It looks like I will be able to get just about as much overtime at HP as I want. Given the fact that OT is paid at time and a half, the math was pretty simple.

Work 10-15 hours at Blockbuster and make $70 - $100 (Net Pay)

Work 5-10 hours at HP and make $100 - $200 (Net Pay)

And, thats if I only work an hour or two extra each day. Right now I am working 7-330. Its totally possible for me to work till 6/630 and not be dog tired. Which would up that figure to $300 or so….and thats PER week :)

So, I told my wonderful boss at Blockbuster I had to resign. It was very very hard. I could tell he was disappointed, and that made it even worse :( :( He told me that I would be welcomed back whenever I needed/wanted, that I had made a wonderful addition to the team and he wished nothing but the best for me. He understood that I was having to do this because of financial reasons, but man it was still hard!

Luckyily for me, there were a few guys there were looking for extra hours, that happily took my remaining shifts. So, last night was my last night :( The good news being I have all weekend off to get some stuff done around the house, have my Dad up for dinner/cards and maybe even do some playing with Neo/Gaia. *dances*

So, anyway. Other than that, not much to report. I got my own cubbie on Thursday, and am finding that its helping to get me back settled and feeling like a “real” CA. Always nice to have a place to put your own posties ;) Going back to HP has helped my overall well being I think. I feel productive/useful and I am noticing a general shift in my mood, which is definately for the better. I still miss Claire like hell….but atleast she is close by and with someone who loves and adores her :)

Name: “Me” | Email: ihatelucky@alot.com | URI: | IP: 67.120.129.136

Wow..the lard ass finally gets off her ass and works LYK ONG SO HARD!!!1111!11!!

Posted Jan 26, 12:34 PM

————————————————————————————————————

This was a lovely suprise to have after lunch today. From what I have gathered, the above IP is a “cloak” for the fucktard’s who wrote this, real IP. So, that means, not only are they highly amusing *roll of eyes*, very complimentary *smirk*, they apparently are very cowardly, and that last adjective is NOT sarcastic….in case you were wondering.

I had my moment or two of enraged anger of the stupidity of people. Thankfully, my adoring husband *who has yet to leave me, as predicted by former fans of mine*, and one of my best friends on the entire planet, who is currently suffering her own defaming, convinced me to let it go and find my happy place. The basic idea being, that I am none of the things that people keep trying to label me as, and haven’t done a bloody thing to deserve their hatred in the first place, so why entertain them the chance to make me mad over it? They are absolutely correct.

As previously stated, I have LEFT LEF. Helllllloooo?? That means I have NOTHING to do with it, its management, decisions, drama or proceedings. I should have closed the fucking thing back in July when I wanted to anyway, and when I lost one of the most precious people in my life, Vikki. The only reason I didnt, was because I was convinced by people around me *and a portion of myself* that a “break” would make things better. I came back after the baby was born, and you know what? It wasn’t better. It never GOT better. It only continued to get worse, degrade, and become an increasinly LARGE pain in my LARGE ass. *Yes, I am overweight, do you weridos think you are telling me something I do not know? Helllooooo….I put clothes on everyday, I’m fully aware what the labels say* ;) So, flash forward to a month ago. Again, should have closed the fucking thing. But, in a moment of what I *thought* was genius, I decided to leave it in the collective hands of those I trusted. That lasted….ummmm about 5 seconds? Internal fighting, bullshit, name calling…drama….again. I tried to help –was involved for, 72 hours? before leaving entirely, every account I have and never looked back.

Now, that being said. There are a few people that are GOOD HEARTED, and still very much a part of my life, they know who they are, and do not need to be called out. The rest of the twats that keep following around trying to annoy me with stunts such as this? Please stop wasting my time. I’m a 32 year old woman, mother of three gorgeous children, loving wife to one very awesome man with-whom-I-CANNOT-live-without, holding two jobs and have a life beyond a hunk-of-plastic-with-whirring-metal-inards. You will not harm me with your foul, shallow words. You will not scar something you cannot touch. You will not destroy that which you did not ever know. So, if you will STILL insist on being a retard, go ahead and give it your best shot. I will just keep IP blocking you until you run out of options :) So if you REALLY want to spend your apparent, large amount, of free time harrassing someone who is not bothered by your childishness, then by all means, do continue.

With that said. There is some current drama going on among some of my friends. I will speak this, and speak no further on it. I’m tired of the mood swings, the he said-she said. I’m tired of being put in the middle of pettyness, confusion, mis-commuinication. I will not choose sides, I will not mince words, I will not hide what I feel or pad my words. I do not think lightly of the time and effort I have invested in those friendships, some of which have grown deep and strong over several years now, and never under-estimate the impact they have on my life. However, I will not be part of over-dramatic stances or of listening to the evils of one versus the other. What little time I have online, I am making no room for drama in. My online world WILL contain happiness, companionship of trusted and loved friends and a fresh breath from the grudge filled, toxic-at-times “real world”. The moment that I am sucked into drama, I will disappear from where ever it is growing so fucking fast, your head will SPIN, and that is that. I love you to death, but “handle your business” (as some might say) and leave me the fuck out of it. Kthanks :)

Well, I did it!

I worked all week at HP…and I also worked two closing shifts at Blockbuster….and I didn’t die! Always a bonus in my book, thats for sure! :)

I arrived at HP on Tuesday a bit nervous, but ready for the adventure. I soon came to realize that I was the only one that was truely “ready”, as there had not been a cube made ready, a computer or even what team I was on or what my account load was going to be. I spent the morning being bounced around from one place to the next until my friend *and the gal I worked with before at HP* Tami grabbed me and basically put me to work. Which was good, seeing as how she knows me, my skill sets, and also doesn’t like people to sit around twiddling their thumbs ;) Before I knew it, I was helping with some research for JDIS, using whatever computer/cube was available. It looks like I will be doing just that, atleast for another week or so. I will be a wandering cubicle nomad, that is, until facilities gets my paperwork, builds me a puter and sticks me in a gopher hole some place.

I DO know that I am back on my former Manager’s team, Chris, and that is EXCELLENT! I was very happy under his guidance, and am THRILLED to be able to be on his team again. He is, IMHO, the best Manager on the floor :) He is also very family oriented, a MACRO manager, and TRUSTS his team/employees :) He has hinted at a few possibilites for workload, but nothing is in concrete until the mud hardens :) There is a vague possibility that I could be involved with JDIS again, which is an account I adore and know very well, but that will depend on how some other drama with a few other CA’s *Contract Admin’s* plays out. We shall see. For now? I am happy being Tami’s temp admin chick, and am enjoying seeing familiar faces and feeling accomplished at the end of the day :) Have I mentioned the pay is nice too! ;)

*thinks*

Blockbuster is just peachy. I only worked Friday and Saturday night this week. I do not want to spend my entire life away from home, and also do not want to exhaust myself to a point of no return. But I do like being able to go in for a few hours here and there. The free movies this week were awesome! I got to see The Forgotten. LOVED it!! Absolutely, 100% adored it. Will prolly look to buy it at some point *which is a good indicator that I seriously loved it* I also saw Cellular…awesome film! Would have been worth the $$ to see in the theatre. I watched Napolian Dynamite *sp?*…..fucking retarded. I only watched it because my Manager said it was a film that you really didnt “get” unless you saw it atleast 2 or 3 times. The best thing I can relate it to, would be Clerks? Its bizzare. It has a plot….sorta? Its more like you are kinda following the characters through a few weeks of insanity? Totally odd. I think the only scene that REALLY cracked me up remotely was the dance scene at the end, and that is all I will say, incase you haven’t seen it and want to :) We saw Collateral last week I think? That was a pretty good flick as well, the ending was a bit odd though. The kids watched Princess Diaries 1 and 2, seemed to like them both. Dan has recenlty watched Hero, that new Jet Lee movie? I only caught the tail end, seemed a bit odd…not my style. He would have to give a review on it :) Troy is on my list to see next. That and the Manchurian Candidate as well as Bourne Identity and Bourne Supremecy. The Grudge is coming up soon, that might be worth seeing…depends on if I am in the mood to see a horror flick, I have to be amped to see one, or they just distrub my psyche for days after.

Dan and I have begun apartment hunting a bit more hard core. Our lease here will be up end of Febuary. There is a complex that is next door that we are going to check out this week. They’ve got pretty good rates on three bedrooms…just have to check out how ghetto/or not they are. I anticipate the packing to start prolly next weekend some time. I hate leaving it to the last minute. So, its time to start scrounging for paper boxes at work! :) Nothing like moving, to give you “the chance” to sort/weed out closests for shit you really need to toss/give away. Our house has been a disaster since Christmas, and I just don’t think its going to get much better until I start tossing shit. We’ve just outgrown the space we are in!

The kids are all fine. Haley is working on her annual Science Fair project. I think she has settled on a experiment regarding what kind of candles are the best value/burn longest *most bang for your buck*. She’s also been selected by her Teacher to be tested for advance placement courses *for lack of a better term*. I don’t really know much more about it at THIS juncture. I just know she has to go through a series of special tests, then they will evaluate here and possibly put her in some more advance courses….I think for when she goes to Jr High next year. *rereads that last sentence….oh. my. god….JR HIGH!!!!! Falls over DEAD*

Thomas is doing his Teej thing…being annoying, cute, funny, stinky, sweet and WOW all at the same time. He’s doing AWESOME with his reading/vocab. Pretty much has all he needs to “graduate” already tucked safely in his belt. He just sorta took the ball and ran down the street when it came to reading….so VERY proud of him. He seem’s to be a well rounded Student thus far, as he is doing very well with Math too.

Claire is just fine. I had intended to keep nursing her in the evenings, but she has pretty much weaned herself. Well…totally weaned herself. I think its been close to three days since she last nursed, and even that was a failure. I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss it. However, she is very healthy, very bonded with me, and happy. So, I guess it did its job? :) She’s widened her variety of fruits and veggies. She’s eating/liking: Bananas, Pears, Peaches, Peas, Carrots and Sweet Potatoes :) She gets baby rice or oatmeal cereal every evening with a fruit mixed in, as well as a serving of a veggie. She eats very well, rarely fusses and generally is good natured about anything new we introduce. She’s been doing fairly well staying home with Dan all day. I am prolly more of a basketcase about it then she is. She’s seeming to be fairly well adjusted with the families new schedule…hooray! I have to have Dan or I, hunt down the county clinic to get her a 6 month check and shots. My insurance at HP will not start for another two months, and she needs a few boosters and I want to get her current height/weight :) We are having to order a replacement motor for “The Swing”. It just stopped working last week! UGH! Its funny how you dont realize how dependent you have become on something until it ceases to exist in your world! :) Lucky for us, its got a one year warranty, so I think we can get a replacement motor for free for Fisher Price *does a happy dance*!

I’ve been totally slacking on Gaia/Neo. Geeee I wonder why? I just put it as a low priority, as it should be. I’ve got to get used to this new schedule before spending too much time on any hobbies :) I do miss it though. I think I want to pull out of the Mall I am in on Neo and make my own. I’ve recently gotten irritated with the one I am in, and want to have a bit more control, no big suprise there, as to what my involvement will be/is. Regarding Gaia, I’m just over halfway to my Nitemare Scarf! Woot! :)

I can state that I’m 100% done with LEF in both places, and never looking back. I’ve had conversations regarding that with those that I still associate with. They’ve understood my need to be done, and have removed my name from everything, and I appreciate that so very much. I’m saddened in large part to see the way things have turned out, but, as I’m being told by my closest friends, I cannot fix the world, and cannot hold myself responsible for what other people do. I’ve had a few people….stalking me, for lack of a better word. It bothers me a bit. They tell me they want to me my friend “even though you left LEF”. Well, gee thanks! The only people that I intend to be friends with, already were/are my friends ;) The reason I left was exactly beacuse of the following/stalking. I got tired of being misquoted, talked about, defamed, followed and generally annoyed. I’ve never been “popular” in real life, and I think I am grateful for that. If its anything like what it was *for me anyway* on the Net, I would have certainly moved to another country by now. So, basically what I am saying, is that if you think you have to ask to be my friend, chances are you are not and wont ever be ;) So, don’t try to bribe me, kiss my ass or pretend to know anything about my life and what goes on with it….take my silence as a hint, and kiss off :) Heeee!! *ish so evil, and damn, doesnt it feel GOOD*

/online game rant

Annnnnyway. I really should shut up now. I’ve got a list a mile long, and its already 530!! EEEP! :) Its a good thing that none of it is life stopping important ;) Catch you all on the flip side! :)

Ok, so I don’t wear an apron….but I think you get the point. In less than 8 hours, I will “rejoin” the -White Collar- world of HP. I’m not quite sure what to think of that. I know its the right thing to do for my family, and I know that my stress level about finances will drop tremendously….its just painful to realize how much time will be spent 1.3 miles away from my precious lil’ bug.

I’ve loaded up my “Brag Book” full of her cutest photos, and have frames ready to prop up on my desk, once I am assigned a cube….*sigh*. It WILL be ok….right? I consider myself very lucky. Lucky that she will be able to stay home with “Da Papa”. This is a good thing. Putting her in daycare at such a tender age is literally horrifying to me. Especially after having the last, near 6 months with her. I couldnt imagine having her spend 75% of her waking day with someone that wasnt a part of our immediate family *Heather included*.

At the same time, I must admit that I am somewhat excited, curious and determined about this new adventure. I’ve never been one to stay in a rut for too terribly long, so perhaps being out of the house will do me some good? I have missed the craziness of “Cubbie World” to some degree, as well as a few close friends that I made during my last adventure. I do like feeling valued and productive….so this is definately a good way to attain that. I can only hope that I am not saddled with an account load that is too mind blowing…atleast not right off the bat. I mean, yah, I like adventure, but I also value my sanity :)

Anywho. I expect that much of this week will have me in somewhat of a whirlwind, so if I do not catch you online/email/AIM….love me anyway…cuz I said so! :-P

Blergh. Again, so much to say….no energy to say it. I think I need to start having Tuna Sandwhiches for breakfast again. Omega3’s for breakfast can’t be beat when you are draggin’ ass. Anyway, here are a few more vids of Claire. These are taken in her current favorite place to be…..besides the arms of Mama or Papa that is. :) Enjoy!

For your utter amusement….and a peak into our world…here are a few videos of Claire. Each is about 15 seconds long, but if you are on dial-up, they will take aprox 5-10 minutes to download, just as a forewarning :)

You will need to use WinAmp to listen/play these, which you can safely download here: WinAmp

Here are the files to download :) Just click on the Thumbnail Photo below to initiate the download :) Aren’t I spiffeh?

Hmmm. I have had several things I wanted to “Blog Home About”, but alas, I lack the drive or motivation. My back has been hurting pretty consistently the past few days. I think I must have pulled/tweaked/pinched something. If I sit, stand, bend “too much” it aches and is hard to walk or move. Couple that with STILL having a fairly bad ingrown toenail, and other general annoyances such as having to hunt down a new apartment and getting ready to go back to work…and I’m generally moody.

Blergh.

Man, that sure sounds depressing.

Oh well.

I’m here…just not in the mood to chat on AIM. I will be lurking around Gaia, trying to get enough gold for my NM Scarf…about halfway there …and I need to restock my shop in Neo. *nods*

Catch you all later.

Well, after some talking with Dan, former co-workers and alot of soul searching…..I’ve headed back down the road to inquire about returning to HP.

I’ve touched based with the Hiring Manager who is anxious to talk with me tomorrow. There is apparently a “New Hire” Training session starting Feb. 1. However, I’m hopeful that I will be able to shadow with someone for a week or two instead of training…as that would be teh seck. If it comes down to me having to go through it again, I will survive…but eww.

The good news is, is that there is a 98% chance I can wiggle myself back into my old rate of pay, which was $14 an hour. Not too shabby. There is also the benefits, which are quite a bit cheaper then what Dan was paying with his former employer. I will have it be known that I will sell my right ovary on Ebay before going back to Keiser however. *ponders* I failed to post about that…I might have to backtrack a bit next post ;) Its a good giggle-fit kind of story *grin*. I’ve also heard that there is no current restriction on overtime….woot! :)

I will be keeping my Blockbuster job. If all goes well, I will just do it a night or two a week, mainly to keep the doors open. Its a fun job and the goodies/freebies are well worth a bit of work each week. Plus, if I ever decide to pursue retail full time, Ross would be the perfect Manager to mentor under.

I didn’t think I wanted to get neck deep in the drama at HP. Mainly I think, because I had so much other bullshit I was dealing with. There were days that I can recall, that if felt I was spending more time dealing with LEF bullshit/Neo crap then being super productive at work. I have to admit that for the amount I was getting paid, what I was doing for work was pretty much cake. Of course I will not get my dear JDIS account back *they are being booted to HP’s curb anyway*, but I am still confident that I will do just fine. Besides, its the fastest/easiest way for Dan and I to try to get ahead once more…and allows him time to look for a GOOD job, instead of settling for the first paycheck he can find.

As far as Claire goes, she will be home with house dad for awhile as he takes his “time” to find a solid job that will further his career and make him happy. I am hoping that when he does, it will be lucrative enough for us to afford daycare, and she will be that much closer to a year old, which is when I wanted to start having her go part time anyway, for social interaction if nothing else. It will truely suck that I will not be able to spend as much time with my “bug”, but I have to do what is best for our family, so thats exactly what I plan on doing.

Meh. Claire officially has her first cold. *le sigh* A wee cough and generally droopy. Of course, the selfish side of me is kicking things, as this is the first time that Dan is going to be away over night, and I was hoping for a nice quiet evening to do some stuff….hopefully the bebe meds will sooth her symptoms and she will be able to rest easy.

Where is Dan going, you ask? He is meeting up with some other gamers *that he -met- via a friend of mine at HP* for an all night LAN party down in San Jose. It will be good for him to have some “male bonding” (ie, get the HELL out of the house ;) )

Well, I need to get him off and get some more snuffly bebe supplies….chat with ya later! :)

Dont forget…..CLICK MY GOOGLE! ;)

Yes, as a dear DEAR ;) Friend *hugs Chico* pointed out, I have indeed succumb to the largest I-net pimp out there. Google. And, it appears that my lovely 120 x 250 skyscraper banner ad is filled with links based on the content of my blog/webby.

So, the question ensues, should I write random posts about odd subjects to endear and encourage my few *but adored* readers into clicking themselves into a information frenzy?

Hmmmm

Porn. If I am under the influence of a I-net pimp, perhaps this is the way to go? Porn in all its glory, allowing otherwise inhibited humans, the ability to be free and adventurous in their sexual endeavours. *wonders how many times one has to mention a subject in order for it to appear* I suppose its a good thing that I am a free thinking blogger, and the owner of some porn myself and not ashamed to proclaim that no one works my hot pink & nubby vibrator quite like my husband….. *watches my mother in law fall over* (sorry ma!) Hmmm…not like anyone else has been given the chance….noooo that would be more along the plot lines of a PORN.

*thinks*

I really have errands to do, and it occurs to me that perhaps writing entries BEFORE my moring coffee might not be the best idea….but hey. It IS my blog…and I can PORN if I want to.

Heeeee!