You know, its ironic really. Just about two hours ago, I was talking with Dan, and shared with him that I was finally starting to feel a bit of relief financially. That had been true. The dark clouds were receding, and I was starting to feel the warmth of hope.
Then the mail came.
Insurance costs at work just about doubled.
There goes the cushion.
There goes the budget.
No matter what I do, how I add it, we are back to being over budget. By $100 a month. Thats with minimal bills, nothing extravagant, one vehicle, home cooked meals bought at the cheapest grocery store in town.
It doesnt account for new clothes for growing kids, or for a savings account for the “bad day”. It doesnt account for the bigger home we will need very very soon. It doesnt account for any trips, vacations, household needs or fun outings for kids who go nowhere as it is.
When Dan got hired at HP, I was thrilled. I did the math and was pleased to see that our once negative budget was going to have a chance to wiggle, just a wee bit. I had hope that we could afford a crib for Claire, and maybe down the road a new sofa, maybe even a small family vacation, just to get away for a bit, from everything that has haunted us the last year.
Days like this make me hate my life.
All I want is a stress-free life. One in which I can give my kids the little things they want and deserve. One in which I am not 150% stressed 150% of my day. All I want is to be able to look at my bank balance and not have to wonder if I have calculated to the penny, to be sure that all bills clear.
Everyone keeps telling me it will get better, we will be ok, we will make it, good things happen to good people.
Does anyone know when that might happen? Because my calendar isnt showing any such appointment with ” a life of simple comforts”.
*hides under her desk*
