Whatcha think?

Alright, now that all that is said and done…on to better, brighter and cheerier topics.

Good mail days.

Don’t you just love them?

Today was a great one for us!

First of all got some great Quizno’s and KFC coupons….a free pumpkin or apple pie and cool whip from Winco. who doesn’t love a buy one get one… or just plain free???

Then?

The Cingular bill. BUT, this is not sarcasm. I was thrilled to see a nice little discount on my bill. Why? I just learned (yes, after two years I got “the memo”) that I qualified for HP discounts on my cell bill! Who knew?! Apparently not me. So, being the thrift-wise person that I am? SIGN ME UP! :)

Then?

A Check! Okay, so it wasn’t a million dollars…but hey, $20 from Sutter Medical for a co-payment overcharge? Shit! Hand it over! :)

Then??

This is the creme de la creme.

About two weeks ago, we got a letter in the mail. It stated that our family had been “identified” as a candidate for the semi-annual Tony Apostolos Kids Clothes Shopping Spree. The letter didnt say much about the program, other than it was a fund set up by a now passed Roseville, CA community-minded gentleman back in 1988. We signed up the kids and crossed our fingers. Only the first 300 kids were going to be reviewed and then accepted.

Today? We got our confirmation card!

Haley and Thomas will get to go to Meryvns here in Roseville, this Sunday and shop! Bright and EARLY at 6am!! Plus? Mervyn’s gives the kids a big discount, and from what I read via the net/google, they often do things like backpacks/other “christmas gift”, breakfast, and a visit with Santa! It looks like the kids will be able to spend somewhere between $125-$175 each on Winter Clothes!* bounces all over * How COOL is that?

So, I guess I just gotta learn to take the good when it comes, and not let the bad bother me so much.

Now, to work on that space-time continunum thing….

It strikes me as funny that I’ve somehow, over the last 5 years, become so entangled with Neo, that I seem to NOT exist to anyone EXCEPT those people that have something to do with the Neo world I was once apart of.

Do I really fail to exist on all other levels? Am I not just a girl that likes the internet and its vast territories and peoples, who also happens to be a rather interesting, funny and genuinely caring person on the other side of the screen?

If you have no knowledge of me as a person other than through what you know, or think you know, through Neopets, kindly go away. No, seriously. Piss off.

The post below was written to show that I got RID of Neo, and the Neo-Only people that knew me on some level, because it was harmful to my REAL life and I was tired of being hurt. Yes, thats right GOT RID. The post below was written as a cry out to my friends, those that have nothing to do with Neo, in the regard that it is not the only single tie that binds us.

If you’ve not seen me on AIM, Yahoo or Neo, or if I have not commented to your blog/LJ, that’s 98.2% because I blocked you from my life for some reason. Either you hurt me, you annoy the CRAP out of me, you were an LEF/Neo acquaintance that had my contact info for some reason that was only for Neo/LEF related “business”, or you don’t seem to understand I have a job and use AIM/Yahoo for those purposes during the day and don’t have endless hours to discuss the current Neo plot, the size of your till or any other such Neo related thing.

I realize that I have pissed people off by pushing them away, this did not really concern me, as I was very clear in who I was pushing away and WHY back when I did it. I also realize that not everyone in the world agrees with what I have to say, even those that I hold near and dear (duh, I am not THAT moronic, give me a break). I realize that when you have busy lives that its hard to keep in touch with people.

All I am saying, is that I am lonely. I am lonely on many levels. I am saying, that I used to have a wide variety of friends (WITHOUT NEO) that I could talk to, call, cry to…whatever my soul needed. For whatever reason, caused by me, the fates or by their own personal decision, I no longer have that wide variety and it hurts. Sure, I have a friend or two that I can speak to…

Maybe I should just shut up before Mike and Goth disappear too.

I have known for some time now, that a good part of my “popularity” online had everything to do with Neopets and my involvement with the Guilds that I’ve owned/been a part of. That “popularity” is in large part, the reason I pulled back and hid (for lack of a better term), because the popularity began to HURT. People didn’t always like my decisions, what I had to say, or what I did and with whom, and the tides always seemed to be crashing around me like waves on a dark and foreboding island.

So, I retreated. I swore off the pain, and the people associated with it. I reclused from activities I once found endless joy and satisfaction from, all for the sake of my sanity. I figured, hold on to the “good ones”, the ones that don’t treat you like crap and talk about you behind your back, and you will be just fine. It worked…for awhile.

Then slowly…they all began to disappear. Now, large parts of that are no doubt due to my increased hours at work, increased attention given to family and children and things of a home nature. But…it still hurt. I would often check my email and log into AIM in hopes of a hello, or a comment, or a note…or something, only to be greeted with stone, cold silence.

I’ve been pondering this solitude and lonliness for a couple of months now. As many of you know (for those that still stop by to read this pathetic rag of a blog), I don’t really have much of a social life, in “real life”. Due to strapped finances, three kids, and in insane work schedule. I have been in this boat for many years however, and have always been able to rely on the internet to put me in contact with someone, anyone, at any hour of the day or night. So, when even the internet turns into an echoing chasm of blah…one tends to be a bit bitter and resentful.

I was reading through Live Journal the other day, and happened upon a great idea. I borrowed it and posted it a bit below here…the Christmas Wish thingy. While I was posting this, I had a idea come about. I thought to myself, hmmm, who doesn’t love cookies? So, I posted that one of my wishes was for people to give me thier address so I could know who wanted, and then send, a parcel of homemade cookies and a Holiday Card.

Very interesting results.

Two people have responded. These are indeed people that I know and have some level of friendship with. What perplexes me, is that these are two people I rarely speak to. This is not that I don’t wish to, they just don’t happen to be in the more immediate circle (albiet small) friends I encounter within say, a 2 week period.

Where are the friends that I know “in real life” as well as or only online? Where are the people that I regularly speak to on one chat program or the other? Where the HELL is everyone?

I’ve often stated that internet provides “something” for everyone. What that something is, varies for each. Whether it be a way to avoid and “forget” the sting of a broken heart, broken home, or dismal existence…or whether its simply a way to be social without being….social. When I first started with my online antics, adventures/mis-adventures and such, I was lacking….ALOT…in my life. Depending on the year, the the situation, those things varied…but I was always able to find solace here…where it was safe and….comforting. Why? I was surrounded by other souls that were going or feeling the same/something similar as to what I was.

I once again find myself lacking. I am lonely. Terribly so. Its not “Holiday Blues”, its not depression or a need for medication. Its the fact that I work 10-12 hours a day at a very often, thankless job, come home to three kids that are crammed in a small place and therefore are NOT the happiest or most obediant of creatures, and to a place that I cannot really stand, and do not have the means to adventure outside of it in order to find relief, relaxation or social comforts. On top of that, even if I DID have the means…I feel akward in my own skin and very self conscious, which further inhibits the desire and drive even if the means were present.

I have pondered returning to some sort of social environment online for the mere purpose of satisfying my pangs of lonliness and unwanted solitude. I have stopped several times, because I am all too aware of the sacrafices that will take place, as I try to balance an online social “life” along with the other duties and responsibilites I have here in the real world. I am not willing to take away from my family or my home life, no matter how pathetic, as I know how that sacrafice hurt in the past, and the damage that it did…and I am not willing to go there again.

So, I am in a predicament that I don’t really know how to solve, or if I want to, or even what options are out there if I DO find the desire. Pathetic, no?

I guess most of this boils down to a HUGE amount of disappointment over a few fucking cookies. Here I thought I had friends, acquaintences, “and audience”, that might humour me and take part in some good intended Holiday Cheer…if for no other reason, then to get a free box of cookies.

I guess I was wrong.

Fuck it. I didn’t want to share my cookies with you anyway.

(that is of course, unless you are Kathy or Cat, in which case, you WILL get cookies, and plenty of them ~_^ )

Step One:

- Make a post to your Blog/LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday/(birthday) wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple (such as a usericon) to medium (such as a DVD) to really big (such as a computer). The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

- If you wish for material goods, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it’s your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.

- Post some version of these guidelines in your Blog/LJ, or link to the post, so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two:

- Surf around your friendslist (or friendsfriends, or just random blogs and journals) to see who has posted their list.

- If you see a wish you can grant, and it’s in your heart to do so, make someone’s wish come true. Sometimes someone’s trash is another’s treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don’t want or a gift certificate you won’t use - or even if you know where someone can go to get the best sushi - do it.

- You needn’t spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn’t to put people out, it’s to provide everyone a chance to be someone else’s holiday elf–to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not–it’s your call.

Step Three:

1. Clothes Money/Giftcard) for the kids.

2. Christmas cards from friends

3. A list of names and address of who wants cookies mailed to them, they come with a Christmas Card ;)
4. A bottle of perfume, I usually wear Sheer Obsession or Eternity for Women

5. Bath and Body stuffies. I’ve run out of the creamy body wash and lotion * pout *

6. The Sims expansion suite * nods * (yes, its a new addiction…deal)

7. For Dan and I to have the funds to take the kids to see Harry Potter and not feel guilty.

8. A better 2006 than 2005 was.

9. To not feel lonely this Holiday season.

10. A romantic night out…all the bells and whistles, so that I can forget, even for a moment, how non romantic the rest of my life is right now.

Contact me? lucky dot libra at comcast dot net or, if you want it to be a suprise, contact Dan at tomassilverloc at yahoo dot com

“If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don’t speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want- good or bad. When you’re finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or moritified) about what people remember about you.”

Dear Rude, Insensitive and Generally Fucktardish Newbies.

When your Business Lead brings you on a tour of the new area you are going to be sitting in, its advisable to keep your voice down if you are going to insult the people that already sit there, or ideally, keep your comments to yourself.

We know you think you are the latest and greatest, and are here to conquer the world. However, speaking as one that will answer your endless — repeat questions, put up with your immature and boring drama that carries on at levels far too loud for the human ear, and be forced to endure constant chatter, laughter and mingling with fellow newbies you trained with……I kindly ask you to….

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

kthx

The loving, respectful and team player in cube D27, R6 Upper.

Ok, so I’ve never played a real game of golf in my life. Somehow the minature variety just doesnt seem to be the same thing.

HOWEVER.

THIS is cool. Anime style golf! Beautiful graphics, FAST loading, interactive features, tutorials and stuff to buy! Check it out, get addicted, blame Dan. * points * Its his fault I’ve fallen so hard, and durnit, its FUN! :) If you do signup, look for Luckylibra and TomasSilverloc, and give us a poke via buddy request :)

Albatross18